See it – Flip it – Shift it – Become it! (Or the power of words)

See it – Flip it – Shift it – Become it! (Or the power of words)

The next step on the path of self-love is terminology change!

During a lesson at a women’s prison on communication and body language, words of anger and frustration were thrown into the air continuously; a flood of negative emotions accompanied by: “fuck it”! After few minutes I’ve stopped the lesson and said: “Look, those words that repeat themselves “Fuck it, fuck this, and fuck that” really hurt my ears! My ears are burning and it makes it difficult for me to listen to you. How about we change the words? Whenever you need to say “Fuck It”, instead say “Fluff it.” Naturally, this suggestion lead to various responses and jokes around the subject.

Then one of the prisoners said: Miss, you really don’t expect me to go back to the room and use “fluff it” – everyone will laugh at me! In response, I replied, “It’s better they laugh than be angry. Let’s just apply it in class for now!” From that moment on, the atmosphere changed, each “fluff it” was followed by waves of incessant laughter and naturally a large amount of endorphins released into the bloodstream and raised the mood. A day that began with a melancholy atmosphere ended in a rolling laughter.

Our language begins with words, thoughts, beliefs and realizations. The formula is very simple: Negative thoughts create a negative reality and positive thoughts create a positive reality. Just to clarify, there is room for difficult emotions and their expression! What we mean here is automatic and negative thoughts that keep us from progressing and growing.

How to use words in a way that will encourage and not discourage? In order to change a feeling or an attitude, we can play with words and give them new meaning. Change the story, change positions, angles, change letters, create new definitions, and replace letters in words, words in sentences. Change your focus.

Here are some examples:

  • Instead of being stressed– make desserts
  • Instead of a fight – give a gift
  • Rather than focusing on a hole – look at your whole
  • Use words to sweeten and elevate instead of embitter and belittle.
  • End every meeting with a kind word instead of a sword
  • Instead of “Nothing matters except being real” use – “All that matters is being real”.
  • Instead of “I hate being alone” use – “I feel lonely but I’m open to love”.
  • Acknowledge “I’m afraid of falling” but add “I trust my ability to rise up and start again”.

If you wish to change your terminology that will lead to a reality change – listening to yourself is the key!  

We’ve all experienced situations where the inner dialogue is like this: it’s going to be a hard week, I can’t do it, I’m not good at it, it’s hard / complicated / impossible, no way it will happen, I’m bad and similar expressions that induce self-flagellation. With these thoughts your reality begins. Sometimes our responses are automatic; recordings that repeat themselves – “what can you do”, “this is how it is”, “there is nothing I can do about it” etc. But in fact, there is always something you CAN do about it!  Change your words, give new definitions to existing terms, and create your own dictionary. What is love for you? What is trust? What is success? How would you define things that are important to you? It’s possible to invent yourself all over again by giving old terms a new meaning.

Replace the audit committee in your head with an empowering and more supportive Committee! Instead of being your worst critic – be your best lover! Your body does not recognize the object of your thoughts. The body receives a negative message whether the judgment is about yourself or the other. Start padding the brain with a platform of soft, loving, optimistic, embracing, and uplifting thoughts and look what happens.

Pay attention to the first thought and the intention you wake up with in the morning. Use deliberate statements before you get out of bed, statements that suit you, for example: it’s going to be a nice day, change is easy, and life is easy, pleasant, simple and flowing. Say empowering words to yourself every day and your reality will soon change. We all deal with crises, difficulties, obstacles and challenges – the difference lies in the way we respond to them.

The following exercise is a practical tool for a daily use. The goal is to listen to the inner discourse and thoughts. Identify words that require substitution or transformation and make them.

Retrain your brain!

The first stageactive listening to thoughts that go through the mind during the day and writing them. Writing is an excellent tool to reflect on what’s happening inside.   Listen to the inner dialogue and write what comes to mind without judging, analyzing or criticizing. How do you listen? Stay silent! Silence is the key for self-realization.

Silence is present before words are created, before the formation of a new language, before birth, before creation and action. When you are present in your silence zone – listening to your thoughts becomes easier.

Step TwoIdentify the inhibitory and automatic words that prevent you from moving forward. For example: “there is nothing to do, that’s how it is, it’s impossible, I can’t do it, I’m really bad at it, it’s hard, it’s complicated” and so on.

Step ThreeReplace those words with empowering words, such as: “It’s easy, I can do it, it’s possible, it’s pleasant and flowing”. Sometimes, in the most challenging situations, such an approach may affect the way you cope and make it feel easier. At first it might feel strange, fake or unreal, but only because you present a new habit to your mind. Later on your ability to change will get easier.

Through daily practice and adoption of new thought patterns, your reality will also change. Conscious awareness and active change of your thoughts – will enable you to manage your mental and emotional systems rather than being managed and operated by them.



Just Flip it!


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